Here's some fun and exciting tips if you decide to kill yourself by blowing your head off or by gracefully swallowing a handful of pills. You should shoot yourself in the head because swallowing that many pills would induce a good chance of you choking on your vomit. Not a very noble way to go. Imagine yourself laid over your toilet, your forehead dented from passing out while falling and little prickling pills roll around the tile. Your skin is pale and sunken but unlike the chunky bits of 2-hour-old burrito decorating your shirt. Your eyes and mouth are probably open and you look hilarious. The cops will even get a good laugh when they discover you and don't forget about shitting your pants. Sure, blowing your head off is a lot messier but who's going to clean it up after you do the deed? That's right, not you!

If you're suicidal then you obviously have issues. You're probably being picked on at school so imagine how embarrassing it would be if you came back alive after your planned death, because remember that 6 out of 10 pill poppers will survive their dilemma. "Dude, did you hear about Emo Eddie, like, he's totally alive! He screwed up dying, what a loser!"

So if you plan to kill yourself, do not use pills. The effects don't kick in immediately but if they do, I'm sure you'll get a massive rush of pain that will make you regret it. If it does kick in right away, expect your glorious farewell scene to look like a failed frat prank with Skittles and vomit. If you get unlucky and survive then you'd better try again because nobody likes a quitter.

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